Praise God!!

I had decided a few days ago that no matter what happened today at the doctor. I was going to title this post "PRAISE GOD!" Whether I had a healthy baby thriving inside me or my little bean had not survived (or any case in between), I was going to praise God!! I knew that if my baby was not alive inside me he or she was in the presence of Jesus....what an incredible thought!! And no matter what is going on in there, God always deserves my praise!!

When I went to the doctor today I was pretty nervous! I didn't even want to look at the screen when the sonogram started!! Somehow I managed. I could tell that things were progressing because last time we couldn't see the baby yet at all. I saw my little butter bean first and then I saw the heartbeat!!! I was SO relieved! The blood clot remains an issue, but hasn't grown any since my last visit. It measured a tiny bit bigger, but that could be from other things like difference of measurements, or if it moved or shifted in any way. The doctor didn't seem worried about it at all. We will just have to keep praying about it!!

When I went on the 7th I was measuring 4 wks and 4 days (6 days off of the original due date). Today I was measuring 7 wks and 6 days, which is more lined up with the original due date (only off by 2 days)....So, I got to keep my original due date of July 7th! This is a big deal in "pregnancy world"!! Six days difference is an eternity if you are going backward!!! I would welcome moving up six days in a heart beat, but please don't move me back even one day!!! haha.....

So, today I am 8 wks and 1 day pregnant! I feel like I can finally relax in this pregnancy! I still know that I am not immune to miscarriages and things may still happen! I also know that God IS in control and He will see me through! Thank you to everyone for praying! Please continue to pray for God's will to be done in my growing baby's life!

I'm hanging in there!

I have a couple of reasons for the name I chose for this post!



I am hanging in there.......I am trying to be patient and CALM in waiting for my next appt. It is Wednesday morning at 10. I finally feel like that day will get here. I was beginning to think it wouldn't. I am really nervous about the sonogram and I am trying hard to just relax about it. I know I was nervous before the first sonograms with both of the girls.....but, this time is different. After all the things that went on a couple of weeks ago, I guess I find it almost hard to believe that everything is okay in there! I want to believe it though!! I know that God is in control of this whole situation and I am really trying to get ME out of His way! Please continue praying for me that I will just CALM down!



I am hanging in there.........I am trying to make it through each day while feeling like I have been run over by a truck...a BIG one at that!! I feel so bad for Matthew! Bless his heart he is practically doing everything. There are times I can't even step foot in the kitchen. I feel so sick! I can't think of anything that sounds good to eat.....but, I am hungry all the time! That is such a hard feeling to explain to someone who has never experienced it. Sometimes Matthew just kinda looks at me like I may just be crazy. Maybe I am. Either way, I still can't eat anything!



Enough of the worry and complaining!!!!



Avery is very excited about the fact that I have a baby in my tummy!! She is actually pretty obsessed with it! She talks to the baby! She hugs my stomach all the time! She asks me if the baby is crying. She told me the other day that "the babies" (she just now started saying that there is just 1) have a night light in there so they can see. Everyday she asks me if it is the day that my stomach is going to get big. If she is laying beside me she is constantly asking if she is hurting the baby. When I am holding Raegan, she is asking if Raegan is hurting the baby. Some of the things she says crack me up!! I can't imagine what she is going to be like when you can see and feel the baby moving in there.

Raegan does a lot of hugging my stomach too. I think she is really just copying her sister, but I still think it is really sweet. She doesn't want me to put blankets over my stomach or roll over too far on my side when I am laying down. She starts saying, "Baby, baby, baby, baby......." in a voice that isn't too happy.

I have been wanting to and thinking about posting on here for a while now! I just haven't really been on the computer that much. I am sorry for not getting around to it sooner! Thanks again to everyone who is praying for us! I won't wait that long for the next update! There will definitely be one after Wednesday's appt.!!

This is what has been happening in the last several days of my life...........

Well.......the past week has been CRAZY to say the least! Monday I had to go to the doctor b/c I was having pretty bad back pain along with some other symptoms that aren't particularly good during pregnancy. Anyway, when they did the sonogram they didn't find a baby......that would have been fine considering I was only 4 wks and 6 days, but they did find a "sac" that was measuring 8 wks and 5 days. (at that time you should see an amniotic sac, a baby, and even a heartbeat...I know that there are exceptions, but normally by that time you would see something in the amniotic sac) This was really confusing me, because I knew I wasn't that far along. (I had been to the doctor for my regular check-up on Sept. 30th and they did a pregnancy test and it was negative.) So, the doctor told me that he was diagnosing this pregnancy as "abnormal" and that it may not make it. I was preparing myself for the worst. I had decided that I just wanted it over with. (He did tell me that best case there was a baby and things would be ok.....I was cautiously holding on to that hope, but in the back of my mind I couldn't help but feel that this was over). He sent me over for blood work to check the level of hcg, the pregnancy hormone that in normal pregnancies doubles about every 48 hrs. (in early pregnancy). I was to come back Wed. for more blood work. Monday night I went home and warded off any pregnancy symptoms!! I didn't want to think about the fact that I was still pregnant and I certainly didn't need anything reminding me that I was! I was just waiting.....I didn't know what symptom of a miscarriage would start first........so, I just waited. I was praying that I could make it through to Wed. when I would have the second set of labs. I thought if we could get the results and see that there was no hope they could go ahead and do the d&c ( procedure that removes the products of conception....sometimes, not all, after a miscarriage a d&c is performed to make sure an infection doesn't develop, sorry, I am trying to not be too graphic and still explain) so I could get all of this behind me!!

I went in Wed. just trying to get through it. I knew I had to wait for the results, but I just wanted to get there as early as possible and get the results back as soon as possible, that way I could see when I needed to be there for the d&c. I got a call Wed. afternoon that I never would have expected in a million years! I heard the words..."according to the blood work, the baby is FINE"......I couldn't even wrap my mind around those words because for the last 2 days I had thought this pregnancy was almost over. They wanted me to come in Friday for another sonogram. I didn't really know where to let my mind go! After all, I had seen the sonogram and I knew it didn't look like what you see on a normal sonogram, I heard the doctors voice just 2 days before and what he was saying. I couldn't imagine that everything was fine........The doctor told me on the phone that he didn't think what we saw on the sonogram was the amniotic sac and by my blood work I was not as far along as 8 wks and 5 days. This made me feel better, he said by Friday we may be able to see more.

Yesterday I had to be there at 8 am. When the sonogram started I saw that little black spot on the screen......the one you are suppose to see!! It was measuring a mere 4 wks and 4 days (about 6 days earlier than we thought). Sonograms can be off a few days and I could just not be as far along as I thought. (That would explain the VERY light positive results I got on the pregnancy tests) We didn't see anything in the sac, but that is normal for that early. My doctor said he is VERY reassured with that and he said we didn't need to do anymore blood work because he felt everything is fine. I go back on Nov. 26th for my regular "first" prenatal visit and another sonogram. By then we should be able to see even more!!

As for what they found on the first sonogram......it was a blood clot. (That may sound bad, but I had one with both of my other pregnancies!!) It could reabsorb (that is what happened when I was pregnant with Avery) or I could experience some bleeding during the pregnancy (that is what happened when I was pregnant with Raegan). That is what the doctor thinks is causing the back pain. I know that , as with any pregnancy, something could still happen!! I am trusting God that whatever happens He will get us through it! Please keep us in your prayers! After all this I'm emotionally drained! I think I have felt every emotion there is in such a short time! I am naturally a worrier, (it is something I am constantly battling with) please pray that I will give this pregnancy TOTALLY to God and have peace with whatever comes!

This has been a rough start!! I am gradually getting back to the excitement of being pregnant.....just cautiously! I want to thank all of you who knew about this and prayed for us!! Some of you truly went ABOVE and BEYOND!! That really means so much! God is good ALL the time and I just can't thank Him enough for all of the people I have in my life that care about me and my family!